(possibly in order)
1. Talk dirty to myself. The Jedi of all sex talk. Deathstar fetishes and Lightsaber innuendos. Oh, how Lando Calrissian would slide off the tongue on a wine-filled balmy summer night.
2. Stop doing commercials. Hello… JAMES EARL JONES. Three bold names like “burnt fuckin’sienna”. Unlike Ponch informercials—selling land in Oregon. Or Magic peddling plasma TVs. I think it’s safe to say the cell phone industry can survive without me.
3. Stick to the stage. The occasional voiceover is nice, an unexpected dose of legitimacy. But really, do I want be associated with a medium that produces Jersey Shore?
4. Become best friends with Morgan Freeman. Moonlight Graham and Shawshank lore: soulful brothas from other mothas’ velvet wombs.
5. Narrate my life story… Aloud... Everywhere, I went.
Daniel Romo is currently an MFA candidate at Antioch University, but is transferring to Queens University of Charlotte in the winter. His recent poems can be found in Divine Dirt Quarterly, Scythe, and Kill Author. He was recently nominated for Best of the Net Anthology, and the Pushcart Prize. His first book of poetry, Romancing Gravity, is forthcoming from Pecan Grove Press. More of his writing can be found here.