Lookin’ for Mr. Folgers 
 
      
Cyrus slammed the lid of his tool box shut and hollered, “Beulah, I’m done here.”

      
The thirty bucks he’d pocket for fixing her stopped-up sink would give him runnin’ money for tonight. Hell, even after paying for a piece a meat and a couple of beers at the Broken Spoke, he’d have enough left to close down the Crazy Horse Saloon with the boys.
Lookin’ for Mr. Folgers 
 
      
Cyrus slammed the lid of his tool box shut and hollered, “Beulah, I’m done here.”

      
The thirty bucks he’d pocket for fixing her stopped-up sink would give him runnin’ money for tonight. Hell, even after paying for a piece a meat and a couple of beers at the Broken Spoke, he’d have enough left to close down the Crazy Horse Saloon with the boys.

      
“Beulah, where you at? I got places to be.”

      
“Now hold your horses, Cyrus. I gotta get to my cash.  You go on out in the yard while I fish it out,” she said, dragging a metal breakfast chair across the kitchen floor.

      
The word cash made Cyrus’ mouth water.  Maybe the old bat had a hidden stash? The screen door thwacked behind him. 

      
Instead of goin’ on out to wait in the truck , Cyrus tiptoed up to the kitchen window and peeked in. Beulah was standing up on the chair, the cupboard door wide open. She stuck her hand inside an old Folger’s coffee can and pulled out a wad of cash. Cyrus went weak at the knees.

      
*

      
When the bartender yelled last call, Cyrus ponied up a round for the boys. They didn’t know it but this would be the last time they’d all have a cold one together. After tonight, he was outta this two-horse town for good.

      
He’d cooked up a plan in his head that was sure to work. Beulah’d be sawing logs by the time the bar closed so it’d be easy to slip in and out without waking her up.

      
Cyrus left the bar, cranked up his truck and headed out. He turned off the main road, cut his headlights and bounced down the bumpy dirt path to Beulah’s place. “Shit, it’s dark as pitch out here. Where’s at damn full moon when ya’ need it?”  He jerked the wheel to the left, missing a huge pothole.  Hole like that could blow a tire if he wasn’t careful.

      
He parked outside her gate, his truck facing out with the engine running for a quick getaway. All the lights were off in the house so he pulled a flashlight out of his toolbox and shut the lid real careful. He swapped his straw cowboy hat for a black baseball cap, put a dip in his cheek and headed for the back door.

      
He opened the screen and jiggled the door knob but the old bat had locked the damn thing. Guess I’m gonna have to crawl through that open window.

      
Cyrus popped the screen, lifted the kitchen window all the way up and squeezed through. His flashlight caught on something and fell in the sink with a loud clank. He stood still, listening for footsteps, ‘til the coast was clear. He shined the light up at the cabinet. Through the glass pane, he could see Mr. Folgers, just waiting for him. His fingers itched at the thought of all those rolled-up hundreds. Must be at least five grand wadded up in there.

      
He opened the cabinet and reached up. The coffee can felt heavy in his hand. He was concentrating so hard on what all he was gonna to do with all that money that he didn’t hear footsteps come up from behind.

      
Beulah’d kept her trusty cattle prod under the bed just in case someone ever tried to break in. She stuck the tip right up to the W on his wranglers and pulled the trigger. “Take that you little white-eyed son of a bitch.”

      
Cyrus grabbed hold of his fried hide, screaming like a little girl and ran. He fumbled with the front door knob, giving Beulah time to catch up and zap him in his good cheek with her lightning rod. He managed to get out the door before she could spark him again and hauled ass to his running truck.

      
At least I still got the coffee can, he thought. Just a few more yards to the gate, then I’m getting’ the hell outta here.

      
The ground dropped out from underneath him and he heard his ankle snap, his foot dangling at a weird angle under the bars of the cattle gap.

      
Beulah, laughing now, addled right up next to him, her cattle prod aimed at his private parts. “You stay put, you little bastard, ‘til the sheriff gets here.”


Carolyn T. Johnson, a former banker and now freelance writer from Houston, Texas, draws on her colorful life experiences in the US, Europe and South Africa for her essays, poetry and fiction. Her subject matter comes from the heart, the hurt, the heavenly and sometimes the hilarious. She has been published in the HOPE WHISPERS anthology, the HOUSTON CHRONICLE and AUSTIN AMERICAN-STATESMAN newspapers, THE SHINE JOURNAL and ZYGOTE IN MY COFFEE e-zines and TOWER NOTES newsletter. She has also received a preliminary acceptance from June Cotner for her upcoming EARTH BLESSINGS anthology.
 


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